Grateful.

Today I woke up to the sound of pouring rain, and while I would be beyond happy that it was raining, today was not the day. My best friend was in town and we were headed out for breakfast, and then my family was going to the pumpkin patch a couple hours away. We all sucked it up and headed out in hopes it would not downpour the whole time we were at the pumpkin patch. Almost 5 minutes into the ride, a very sleepy, and a little bit sick, Parker started getting fussy. At first I just figured he would cry for a minute then fall asleep, since he was long overdue for a nap after going out for breakfast. 10, 15, 30 minutes passed and he was still crying (screaming), and nothing was getting him to stop. In this moment I was also in tears, tired of hearing him cry, feeling bad I made him go when he was getting a cold, and just wishing he would fall asleep. Finally after pulling over, feeding him, putting him back in his carseat and letting him cry for another ten minutes, he FINALLY went to sleep and stayed asleep until we got there. It poured a majority of the way there, but started lightening up when we got there.

Let me just say, all the crying and screaming on the trip was well worth it. My heart is so full with love from today, I am so incredibly grateful for my whole family. After the meltdown on the way there, the rest of the day parker was just full of smiles, and flirty eyes, and overall just my littl eball of sunshine on this rainy day. We looked at goats and chickens, he was a bit scared of both.

 We searched for a pumpkin, and he took a ride with his cousin in a little wagon and fell asleep within minutes, but then woke up when the ride got a bit too bumpy for him.

And then we went to an amazing pizza place, and Parker found himself a girlfriend. Sitting in his highchair, all of a sudden he spotted a waitress and could not stop staring and smiling and doing flirty eyes. This same thing happened this morning when I went out to breakfast. I can tell this boy is gonna give me some troubles!

Overall just looking back, this morning was all sorts of stressful, and in that moment I just could not see past it, but gosh, I am just the luckiest mama to have Parker.

And even with his runny nose and drooly mouth, I just wanna kiss his face all over the place!

Terrible teething!

TEETHING. We're going through it right now. Not just one, but two bottom teeth are poppin' up at the same time. While I love my little man dearly, and want to spend as much time as possible, I just want, and need, him to take a nap! But these terrible little teeth are keeping him up, and grumpy. How do mamas help their little ones during this time? I have been occasionally giving him a little baby tylenol and it works sorta, but I don't always want to be giving it to him. Also, he never lets me look at them sadly. I'm always trying to take pictures but fail every time.

(but it still makes for the cutest pictures;))

I guess this will be turning in to an update post because some of the cutest things have been happening this week! 

Yesterday while I was at work, just shortly after I left, my mom had parker jumping in his jumperoo, and I guess he just started to nod of to sleep! He's never done that before, and I'm so sad that I didn't get to see it. 

I can't get over it still. And he is growing so much hair, and its getting wavy. Which I figured since when I was little I had those Shirley temple curls, which I straitened to death when i was about 14. Now my hair is just an awkward puffy wave when not straightened.

Also, he LOVES avocado! Almost as much as he love banana. The saying is "food under one is just for fun", but this little man takes his food very seriously. Now when we are all eating dinner he pretty much yells at me until I grab him something to eat. 

Also, he sat in a swing for the first time, he loved it! I can not wait until he is running around, wanting to go down the swing and have me chase him. Well, maybe I can wait a little bit longer until I'm in better shape. Speaking of getting in better shape, why is it so hard to get back in to the swing of things with working out?! Before getting pregnant I would work out every day, I didn't eat as healthy as I could have but much better than I do now. Once I found out I was pregnant, the thought of working out just flew out the window for some reason. Every now and then I still go on walks, but I wish it were easier to get back in to working out. 

One last note, I need to figure out what I am going to dress parker up as for halloween. Initially I wanted to make him the caterpillar from "A bugs life", but no one has an outfit ready made for that, and I just don't see myself being able to make that,  let alone know where to even start with it. But, its his first halloween, I need to find something because its coming before we know it!

Thankyou for reading, xoxo

Life update!

So, I guess it has been a few weeks since my last post. I guess I forgot about the world of blogging. So lets have a catch up of all that has happened.

Parker has been eating. A LOT. Yesterday he ate 2 bananas through out the day. And while i really do not recommend, it just sort of happened. (The poop diaper the next day was a little crazy...). He had it as a snack and went through a whole banana, with the occasional little bit that ends up on the floor. Then while we were all eating dinner, parker was in his high chair, and if we're eating, these days he also has to be eating! So he ate another half of a banana and the rest went in the fridge. That night I had work, which is unusual, so parker definitely was not used to it. So during break I called my mom and could hear parker incredibly upset. Now, at that point it was about 8, and he usually gets grump at 7 and falls asleep by 8 so it was unusual for me not to be there for him. My heart broke into little pieces hearing him so sad. So then I just suggested she feed him the second half of the banana. (Which helped a little bit, because he is OBSESSED.)

He also tried strawberry. Not his favorite!

Also, teething has been looking like its been around for the past few weeks, especially lately. And as of today I see a little white poking through, and when he bites my finger i feel a little sharpness! So exciting but so heartbreaking to see my little baby boy in so much pain! Tonight was a tough one getting him to bed, I think its been his roughest teething day, but its so close to poppin out! Also, I could feel a difference while nursing the past couple days, a little bit more painful. Not sure if its the bit of tooth coming out, or if he is eating rougher because of the tooth. I am not sure, but lord knows I am scared of nursing with this tooth in place!

I have also started with some christmas shopping! Babies first christmas and I just want to spoil him so much! I received his first christmas gift in the mail today! I ordered this John Deere sit and ride tractor, too darn cute. And while the picture is a little bit deceiving, because i thought it was going to be a lot bigger than it came in as, Its still too cute! Ill have to buy him some Carhartt to go along. (; Its too crazy to think he is going to be 9 months by christmas time. Its flying by, thats for sure. 

I think I have a few new Ideas for the blog. Maybe a series of posts on my Project life baby album that I have been trying to start for parker. Some DIYS, just recently I bought an old desk from goodwill and fixed it up, it turned out better than I thought! Also I will be doing monthly Parker updates, next one will be his 6 month update! I really would like to dedicate a few nights, when parkers asleep, to writing a post on here. This really is the perfect way to document my memories with parker. Its just it comes in waves of "I really want to write, so I think I will write five posts" and then a few weeks of brain dead. 

Lets hope I keep on going, and that I also survive this first tooth! xoxo, 

BLW adventures

On Sunday evening while dinner was getting prepared, I remembered I had Parker's high chair stowed away in the closet, and with excitement I pulled it out and assembled it. Parker's almost 5 months old, and while he cant quite sit on his own yet, he's great at sitting in his bath seat, so I figured he could sit in his high chair, which was a success! He looked so precious in his high chair, which I'm sure he will quickly grow out of. These Ikea baby chairs were definitely not made for chunk babies.

He looked too cute in his high chair, but with no food in front of him he decided to nom on his hands. It was sad to see him look at our food, he seemed so hungry, which is how he has been the past month or two. So the next day, to impatient to wait until he turned 6 months, I decided to start our baby led weaning adventure. 

I had done quite a bit of research on baby led weaning, and while many people wait till 6 months, I also read many people start with vegetables and fruits at 5 months. He's sitting on his own, grabbing plates, trying to eat things, and whiny when we eat. All the signs are there!

So on Monday I decided to cute up some sticks of cucumber and set a couple of pieces in front of him. First, I helped assist him and put it in his mouth, his reaction was great! A little bit of confusion at first, then non stop sucking! 

(yes, we need to take a picture of every new food right mamas?)

Then we tried apple! Again it was a big hit! Although I think this little chunk man would love any food. 

He hasn't perfected picking up these slippery foods, so he brings it close to him and eats and chews on it on the tray, what a smart thinker. 

 

Yesterday I roasted a butternut squash, which I surprisingly had never eaten. I cut it up into some chunks and sticks, poured some olive oil over and cooked at 200 degrees for about 30 minutes I believe. My chunks were a little large so they took a while to get soft. I think butternut squash was the biggest hit! He wasn't just sucking on it, because it was soft he was able to actually eat pieces. Because its a little stringy we did have some gagging moments, but I just had to sit on my hands and know he would work it out, which he did. I also ate quite a bit, (and so did the cat and dog, they're perfect little vacuums!) and we all loved it!

This is such an exciting milestone and I cant wait to try out even more foods! So far butternut has been the winner and has lasted us two meal times, with more left overs. If anyone has any recipes or food recommendations, I would love to hear them! I'll definitely be keeping you updated on our future blw experiences.

Thank you for reading, xoxo

5 things that have helped me survive the past 5 months

Parker makes being a mom easier than I thought. He mainly only cries when he is hungry, pooped, or tired. Other than that he is a happy loving baby, but of course there are things that have made being a first time mama a little bit easier.

1.Fisher Price Swing

This item was a lifesaver during nap time, and sometimes even bedtime during the first couple months. At first the only way to get parker to take a nap was to set him in the swing, set it to the fastest setting, and turn on the music. He would nap for 2, sometimes 3 hours in this thing. Parker has unfortunately grown out of it and does not quite enjoy it anymore, but I swear by this item, especially when your arms get tired from bouncing around the room with your baby. Fisher Price Rock 'n Play.

2. Fisher Price Rock 'n Play

For the first 3 or so months parker slept right next to my bed in his rock 'n play. This not only comforted me knowing he was okay and right by my side, it also helped with the constant night time feedings. He enjoyed this up until he tried rolling to his stomach in it which, well, doesn't quite workout. It is nice and portable so that in the first few weeks when they are napping constantly you can bring it downstairs or to other rooms to keep an eye on that sweet sleeping babe. 

3. Ingenuity automatic baby bouncer

A nice cozy baby bouncer that you do not have to keep bouncing with your foot. It was a heartbeat bounce and another setting, it plays music and nature sounds that soothe a fussy baby. Again its portable so you can bring it to any room. Many times I would bring it to the dinner table so I could put parker down and have a chance to eat. Again, I had to stop using it because he was constantly trying to roll over in it, but I do miss it very much. 

4. Rockabye Baby

This is a more recent favorite! If you haven't heard of rockabye baby yet I HIGHLY recommend you take a listen to it. They have done lullaby renditions of pretty much everything from Madonna to Kanye to ACDC. My little one turns quiet as soon as he hears the bells from these renditions, and I enjoy them because their songs I would be listening to anyway. 

5. Graco Comfortsport Convertible Carseat 

Im not sure what it was, but Parker absolutely hated his small Britax carseat. It was a typical small carseat that could click in to his stroller nice and easy. But for some reason any time he was put in it, after maybe 5 minutes he would scream his head off, and it would last the entire car ride. Since he is growing so fast I decided to buy a convertible carseat and eventually decided on the Graco Comfortsport. It had great reviews, it is safe, I love the black and red, and it had a cupholder (which doesn't matter now, but I will love it when he is a little older). And I'm telling you, he never cries when he is sitting in it. I think he loves the new height, how he sits upright, and how much more room he has. Really, We were out running errands to Costco and to pick up dinner, and when we got home I realized he had blown out a diaper. He didn't even care he was just enjoying his time in his carseat. In the old car seat, all hell would have broken loose. 

I think I will start making this a month by month thing. Anything that made life easier for the month. This one obviously includes things from earlier in his life, but they were just such important things at the time I had to let everyone know of course! 

Thankyou for reading xoxo, 

5 things my little one has taught me

I knew having a baby would change my life beyond words, but i never realized how much I would learn from my baby from day one.

1. Hard work pays off. Going through 9 months of carrying someone inside of you, eating your best for them, worrying constantly about them, and being up many nights is hard work. You're carrying the weight of your baby, which in the end mine was a whopping 10 lbs 8 oz, the placenta, water weight, and the extra weight that you have gained. I wont hide anything, i gained about 45-50 pounds throughout my pregnancy. The last month all i could wear was leggings and a pair of keds, even some of my maternity shirts didn't fit my belly well in the end. My feet were swollen beyond belief, and over all carrying that much weight in one spot was just rough. BUT anyone who's been pregnant knows the joy and comfort in laying down and watching the little life inside your belly move from one end to the other, pushing their little hands and feet on the inside of your belly. Then the day comes, you might push for hours after a long labor, and then there he is. Hard work pays off, and you have the most beautiful baby in your arms, and nothing can replace that moment when they first look into your eyes.

2. Patience is key. There is no amount of reading and researching that could prepare you enough to have a baby. Patience during labor, during nursing, in the sleepless nights when your baby wont stop crying. You need to find patience in your self and look at your precious baby, and realize its a learning process for the both of you. There will be rough patched but in the end everything will be alright. I remember the first two months of Parker's life, the nursing was hard to get used to. I almost gave up many times due to the pain and frustration and all the cluster feedings. But you just have to breathe, collect yourself, and slow down and realize you're doing your best, and you're learning together.

3. Everything is just a phase. From day one there is going to be hard times. As mentioned in number 2, breastfeeding was a struggle. Some babies get it, latch perfectly, and have no problems. The very first time I nursed Parker, he got it. He latched on and ate for a while. But after that first feeding it was very hard to get him to latch on and eventually out of frustration and being scared of the pain, I reverted to the terrible nipple shield. Now, the nipple shield made thing so much easier, but it was also a pain to hurry and put on and keep it from falling off when you have a hangry baby waiting to eat. But, after about 2 months, when all the pain of sore nipples was gone, i said sayonara to the nipple shield and threw it out, no looking back. And he got it, he is a pro eater, and now instead of a terrifying experience, its a great bonding time. Everything is just a phase because our babies are constantly learning, and so are we. Lately bedtime has been a struggle, but even in the past few days I have noticed a change and things have been getting easier and I have realized not to over stress things because I have realized things are always changing. I'm sure that when bed time becomes a breeze, that something else will pop up. But we celebrate the small successes right?

4. He has taught me how to enjoy early mornings. Before baby I could easily sleep in till 11 am on my days off work. I would groggily wake up, check my phone, and slowly make my way down the stares to eat some breakfast and hop on the laptop. Now days my mornings (and the rest of the day) revolve around him, and I love it. Many days he will wake up at 7 in the morning ready to start the day. Since 7 is far too early for me, i bring him up to bed with me and lay next to him. He's so incredibly happy in the morning, a simple hi brings a massive smile across his face. Waking up to Parker has made waking up at 7 so worth it. I would pick that over sleeping in any day. (well, sleeping in occasionally would be nice too...)

5. There will never be a love greater than your child. From the second I heard his heartbeat I fell in love. I felt no doubts about anything, I could not wait for the day I could hold him in my arms. and when that day came, a love over came me when I looked in his eyes, one that I had never felt before. I was in charge of taking care of this child, and loving him with all of my heart. And there is no day that goes buy that I feel like I can't do this just because I'm a single mom. His love keeps me going, it encourages me to do more with my life so that I can give him more and show him that anything is possible. He is my greatest love and my greatest motivation.

And trust me, he has taught me so much more. Babies are the greatest gift from god, and its definitely a life changing experience to say the least!

Parkers Birth Story

This is what all the mama bloggers write about, right? I remember since early in my pregnancy i enjoyed reading and listening to every ones birth stories, and since its still semi fresh in my mind, i thought I'd share my sons birth story. I'm sure who ever is reading this has read many birth stories before and already knows that this will likely be a bit of a graphic piece. So here it goes,  well, what i can remember of it, that is. I was 40 weeks and 3 days, and I went in to my doctors appointment, still very very pregnant. 

 

The picture above is me on my birthday, two days before the original due date, and 6 days before giving birth. You can see how very pregnant i was. not to mention how often i got asked if i was having twins. 

So, i got to my appointment swollen ankles and all, and did the typical sit in the room, wait a bit, get my blood pressure taken. And then that's where that appointment ended and led me to the hospital. My blood pressure was very high, and with such alarmingly swollen ankles, they figured to be safe and send me to the hospital to be monitored for a little while. So i put on a belly band thing, with two monitors between me and the band. Let me tell you, those things were incredibly uncomfortable, pressing into my large stomach. After a while of checking they decided it would be best for me and baby to stay and be induced, to be safe from preeclampsia. Even this far along at 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant, i didn't have all my things packed other than babies going home bag. So i tried to convince them that i was fine enough to go home and pack my things first, but that did not work. So i sent my sister over to collect my things and come back later. 

Now, this is where things become somewhat of a blur. I know i sat there for a long time with just the monitors on my belly. They attached my IV's, which took them three different spots to get right.Then i believe it was early early in the morning, i guess sometime in the middle of the night, i started getting a pain deep in my butt, yes TMI, but that is what most of this post will be. Then, that morning sometime very early i was started on penicillin to induce me. I started getting contractions and after a while i decided i wanted to get up and walk a little bit. As soon i stood up a giant gush went on to the floor. Perfect time for my water to break of course. It definitely happened how its described, a big gush and then constantly for the next few hours it seemed to keep coming out. From that point on it was mesh undies and giant hospital pads to keep me from leaking all over the place. Shortly after the pain of contractions was getting worse and i was wanting the epidural. I had told myself that i would go without it for as long as possible, and i couldn't go on any longer. At the time i asked, the anesthesiologist had just gotten there and was needing to help with a c-section first. That sounded like a miserable eternity. So i was given some other pain killer that quickly had me feeling like i was on a merry-go-round. While it felt nice, it did not last very long, but i did manage to make it until the anesthesiologist got to my room. By then i was in tears (I don't have a very high pain tolerance), and was a bit scared to have a giant needle stuck in to my back. But even more, i was scared and squeamish about having a catheter in me. So when the doctor came in, he informed me all about what would happen and i sat up to the edge of the bed and bent over a food table, squeezing my moms hand with all my strength at each contraction. I don't remember how long it took, but i don't believe it was too terribly long, and believe me i was staying as still as possible through my contractions if that meant that it would all go away in a few minutes. The epidural was put in, and all i really felt was a jolt going down my right leg. When that was done i laid back down and got comfy. A few minutes passed and i had a strong, painful contraction. So i pressed the button for the epidural to give me more. and then a second time i pressed it. The epidural was not working and i was in tears again out of pain and frustration that it wasn't working and that for a second time i would have to stay still through the pain. So for a second time, holding my mothers hand even tighter, the epidural was re done and i was finally feeling all the relief that i was looking forward to. 

Lets fast forward a few hours to around maybe 3 in the after noon. It was time, after so many hours of contractions that were barely felt, it was time to push. With enough time since the last time i had pressed the epidural button, i could finally somewhat feel and support my lower half of my body enough to help keep them up a tiny bit with people holding them. A hour and a half of pushing or so and I managed to bring the most beautiful little boy in to this world. At 10 lbs 8oz and 22 inches long, he was huge. But when they put him in my arms i was so scared of breaking this fragile little bean, no matter how huge he really was. I only held him for a minute before handing him off because of all the pain, i was scared i would drop him it hurt so bad. The doctor repeatedly had to reach in for the placenta because it did not come out whole. I think that may have been more painful than the actual delivery. Then i was stitched up, because with a baby that size i was cut, and then ripped. Writing all this brings me back to the day and makes me cringe, but also tear up to think its already been 4 and a half months. 

Really though, how do people manage to look good at all after giving birth?

The next few weeks were not the most comfortable when it came to walking and sitting and everything really. But, parker taught me so much in such a short period of time, and continues to teach and amaze me every single day. 

It was a long, rough ride, but it was worth bringing the most special person in my life in to this world. I could not imagine a world without him and his contagious smile. 

Megan and Parker

 My name is Megan, I live in a small town in Washington state. I'm a single mother to a 4, almost 5 month old little boy names Parker. He has brought more love and joy in to my life than I ever imagined possible. I am a young mother of only 19, and even though things are different being this young of a mother, i would not change it for the world. I'm excited for him to grow up with a younger mother that can relate, and hopefully feel comfortable talking to. I opened up this blog hoping to share my experiences, log down my journey, and have written down memories of me and my little man. I don't know where this blog will go, if i will stick with it or if it will be successful. But since i feel as though I have plenty to write about, why not share it with the world!.. or the one person that just might stumble across this post. This blog will be my life, my experiences, maybe some DIY, and everything about Parker! I'm still an amateur of course, but everyone starts out somewhere right?